Dear God, I am Tired

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I recently just got back from church this morning, and I must say I am tired. There was a gospel duo visiting this particular church. They was dressed in leggings,and one had a Mohawk,and the other a  two pigtails. They gave a testimony about being homeless and how others judge them when they step into the church. They were really giving an amazing testimony,until they said that they wear colorful clothes to represent the rainbow which is Gods promise,not a lifestyle choice. It was then that I knew I had had enough.

I have been going to church since I could remember,I have participated in youth events, I still sometimes usher. However, I have recently begun looking at the church in a completely different light. I have also begin to question certain beliefs my family,and even these pastors are preaching. I am sick of the LGBT community being the scapegoat for everything wrong in the world. I know some people may say I am overreacting but dammit it is annoying,hurtful,and counterproductive. I am sick especially when the black church does it. Instead of talking about domestic violence,or why over half of black girls have low self esteem,human trafficking which is rising,and the plight of the homeless some black churches just love to throw out the evil homosexual card. I have also gotten tired of people talking down upon other religions. I do not understand why some people cannot see that we are all on this Earth together. America is home to all of us,not just seem of us.

The one feeling I keep having over,and over is disappointment. I am disappointed that all this has affected my relationship with God. I still,and will always believe in God. It is the church i have got a problem with. Now I am not saying that Christianity is the only religion that has a problem with gays. There are plenty of gays in the Middle East who can attest to the horrors that ISIS inflicts on gays. However, Christianity is the religion I have been around the most. I also have come to realize that Sodom and Gomorrah does not represent a gay relationship of today. What is being described there is rape,prostitution,and bribery which are topics the church doe snot spend enough time o. I have also let other people define my relationship with God,by saying you cannot be gay and talk to God. My relationship with God is my relationship with God,point blank period. It is revelations like these that has made me realize it is time to find a new church home.

I do not know where to go,for a new church home. I know the LGBT friendly churches in LA are way to far plus expensive for a little southern boy like me. I do not know weather I should start attending Methodist churches,or Episcopalian churches,or whatever. All I know is this I will not let ignorance stand in the way of my destiny,and my relationship with God. I will not let rumors stand between me and my friends who are Buddhist,atheist,Muslim,and even Hindus.I will no longer have loud,and spirited debates with these woke hypocrites who blame homosexuality on everything bad in the black community but will not hesitate to throw up gang signs,and call black women bitches and hoes. Psalm 23 says the lord will prepare a table before you,in the presence of my enemies. I will no longer pay attention to my enemies who are at the table. I will be paying attention to my blessing that is already laid out on the table. Hopefully, that table has a rainbow cloth on it.


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